dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
