Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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