I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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