I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
