i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
