1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
