Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
