let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I touched a dick in church today
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
