I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
