Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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