So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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