at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
