Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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