Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
