Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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