he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
