Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
