whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I faked an abortion last night.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
