I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
