i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
