Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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