Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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