I cannot find my penis.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
