we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
