Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize