Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
