you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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