her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
