awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Randomize