So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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