There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
