But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
