I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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