Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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