Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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