i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
