idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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