whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
