I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize