You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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