We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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