there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize