there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
