he wants to bone in the snuggie
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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