drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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