I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
