i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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