i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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