South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
