I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
In America we eat man semen.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
