I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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