Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize