is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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