just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
