i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
