that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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