I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i barfeds in our rink
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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